All Things Computed
The Absurd Ramblings of a Computer Trainer
This book is dedicated to all the students who have endured my strange humor over the years. Perhaps some of them learned something. But mostly, I hope they enjoyed the classes.
Note: This text is excerpted from Luther Maddy’s All Things Coputed - the absurd ramblings of a computer trainer.
A brief history of the personal computer
Video: A brief history of the personal computer
Computers have been around since shortly after World War II. It is a little-known fact however, that they were actually introduced into the United States as part of a cold war plot by the old Soviet Union to destroy us. Recently declassified documents clearly show the goal of the Soviets was to drive the American populace entirely mad, or at least to get them so preoccupied, they would not notice their country crumbling around them.
The first computers were huge and extremely expensive. Because of their relative obscurity, first generation computers succeeded in driving only engineers and computer scientists insane: but no one really noticed, or even cared. To achieve widespread insanity, computers had to be made available to the population in general. To this end the Soviets introduced the personal computer in the late 1970's.
The first personal computers were only marginally successful. The major factor limiting their acceptance were the names the Soviets chose for these machines. The first personal computer introduced was marketed as Forbidden Fruit. After this computer’s name was quickly changed to Orange, it began to achieve considerably more success.
Another early computer was The Red Sickle. The Soviet overtones here were obvious, so the name was abbreviated to just the initials, TRS. Still another early naming fiasco was the Comrade Pet. The name of this machine was also changed. It became known as the more capitalistic Commander Pet and eventually morphed into the Commander 64, one of the most successful computers ever introduced.
Just ask your grandparents and they will surely tell you about trying to learn to use the Commander 64.
In the early 1980's the Soviets coerced a very large computer manufacturer, most likely through bribery and blackmail, into introducing their version of the personal computer. With this large company behind it, this machine found almost instantaneous acceptance in the business world and started the personal computer revolution. To ensure continued success, the KGB made the design of this personal computer available to companies all over the world. The result was a huge propagation of copies or clones of this computer.
In the early 1980's the Soviets coerced a very large computer manufacturer, most likely through bribery and blackmail, into introducing their version of the personal computer. With this large company behind it, this machine found almost instantaneous acceptance in the business world and started the personal computer revolution. To ensure continued success, the KGB made the design of this personal computer available to companies all over the world. The result was a huge propagation of copies or clones of this computer.
Since the introduction of the personal computer, Americans have found them both addictive and irritating. Computers have proliferated rapidly and now almost every desk in the country sports one of these vexing machines. Realizing the potential for controlling the population with personal computers, the U.S. government has recently designed several federal programs with the goal of making personal computers available to everyone. Computer training classes became mandatory for all children and most adults. The government has now nearly succeeded in ensuring that all computers everywhere are connected for easy monitoring.
The computer invasion is now nearly complete. Not only does every office desk display a computer, it seems like every home has at least four. But, to ensure saturation, computers have now been disguised as a personal communication devices. Nearly everyone in the country carries a computer on their belt or in their purse. Never is anyone more than an arm’s reach away from feeding their addiction. These wearable computers, with names like My Phone and Zombie, have become so addictive drivers plow into parked cars and pedestrians fall off curbs because their eyes are glued to their computer screens. In classrooms, students pass electronic notes constantly and post their every thought online. And, more often than not, those thoughts have little, if anything, to do with the subject the teacher is talking about.
The Genie is out of the bottle and now we are all addicted and entrapped. We cannot live even a few minutes without a computer, large or small. To ensure America’s continued addiction and destruction, newer adversaries have created apps to keep us from doing anything at all. No one it seems can keep from access in your face or tick clock for more than a few seconds.
Thanks to computers, our productivity has declined and so has our intelligence level. But, like a virus that escapes a lab and infects the entire world, computers have made it back to their country of origin and beyond and are succeeding in destroying us all, regardless of the colors of the national flag we fly. The entire world is addicted and society as we knew it, is gone forever.
